Swallow Me Whole, and Drown Me Slowly
by Jamaican Skull
Summary: HichiIchi-YAOI-Ichigo lost his shinigami powers after the war. He feels blind, lost, and angry. His annoying father isn't helping anything and is pushing him to his limit. The flame of his anger is being riled by the slightest thing. He's about to snap in his misery. Even so he is still drowning. But the question is, is it his depression, or is the bane of his existence?
1. Chapter 1

HIchiIchi FanFic

Swallow Me Whole, and Drown Me Slowly

A.N.: I'm writing this because I love this pairing so much!

Ichigo: WHAT YOU'RE STICKING ME WITH SHIRO!?

Shiro: What the matter King, can't take me?

Ichigo:*Super Scowl* IS THAT A CHALLENGE?

Shiro: Sure why not?*smirk*

Ichigo:OK YOU'RE ON!*Grabs Shiro and runs to bedroom*

J.S.:Sorry you had to witness that, well shall we move on?

Disclaimer: I do not own any Bleach characters or settings. They belong Kubo Tite and the Bleach storyline.

(I do own my OC(s) that do not belong in Bleach if I decide to put them there ^^)

Warnings: YAOI (don't like, don't read); Indirect Self-harm; Depression; Violence; Character Bashing(I don't know exactly how many characters will get dissed)

"Speech"

_'Thoughts'_

_**'ShiroThoughts'**_

_****_**"ShiroSpeech"**

Chapter 1- A Few Toes to Test the Water

Ichigo P.O.V.

Lying on my bed, all I could see was red. The only thing I could do these days was get angry. But, it makes sense since the only other thing I do lye around and reminisce. I had lost my shinigami powers. Most of the shinigami had died during the Winter War. I feel blind now knowing that there was another world that I couldn't even sense a trace of.

While it is true I've been getting super angry lately, I have kept it under control... Let me rephrase that, almost under control. I have been a bit anti-social, and snap at anyone who tries to talk to me... Who am I kidding, I'm going insane. I should actually be proud of myself for not getting physical with anyone (A.N.: not in a sexual way you hentais). I swear I was about punch my dad in the nose. Maybe it's built up energy, I got a lot more energy back when I-...Great, now I'm not only mental, but now I'm one of those batty war hawks that only talk and think about their time in the forces.

"ICHIGO! TIME FOR DINNER!" yelled Karin. Overall, Karin is the only one that can calm me down. I still adore Yuzu, but I can't help but envy her obliviousness. My dad, though, he's just an ass about it. He keeps telling me to let it go, move on. But, how can someone move one when their life only revolved something in their past. I can't look ahead, too much death, too much blood, and too much lost. Now, these 'talks' escalate into full-fledged yelling contests. It gets to the point where I just have to leave before I hurt him.

I walk towards the kitchen. I doubt I look halfway decent in sweatpants and sweatshirt, but even if I did try, my clothes look a size to big to fit me. I lost a lot of weight when I entered my 'depression'. Even so I'm still decently ripped. I enter the kitchen and walk past the man I now call Bastard, formerly referred to as my father. I nod when Karin recognizes my presence with her usual greeting. I continue past the table until I'm almost exiting the kitchen through the front entrance.

"Ichigo, where do you think your going at this hour in the night?" questions Bastard.

"Out."

"Ichigo you need to eat." What's up with Bastard and the questions.

"I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask whether you wanted to eat or not. Come sit down. Now."

"No."

"YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU'VE SPENT THE LAST 3 MONTHS IN YOUR ROOM CRYING AN BITCHING ABOUT YOUR FUCKING PAST! I'M TIRED OF THE DAMN BEHAVIOR! SO YOU CAN SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AT THE TABLE, OR LEAVE LIKE THE DEPRESSED WHORE YOUR ARE!"

"FINE BASTARD! I SEE HOW YOU WANT IT! I'LL BE OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN SHIT HOLE AS SOON AS I PACK MY CRAP! SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY YOUR LITTLE ALPHA MALE PANTIES ABOUT MY FUCKED UP LIFE ANYMORE!"

And on that note I walked upstairs prepared to live on the streets if I had to.

* * *

After 15 minutes I was walking out of the house to be stopped by my little sisters. Yuzu was almost in tears when she said,"Are you really leaving Ichi-nii?"

"Yeah Yuzu, I won't be coming back."

"Why?"(Yuzu)

"Because if I stay here any longer, I'll probably beat dad pretty bad."

"M'-Kay I-I-Ichi-nii."(Yuzu)

"Bye Ichi-nii, you better come to my games to see Yuzu."(Karin)

"Of course Karin."

It was a lie, but I had to get out of there fast. I left that house immediately after, not wanting to feed my ever growing rage and irritation with the waterworks. I continued walking, my feet carrying me in no certain direction. The flame know as my anger was growing by the second with the recurring thoughts of Bastard. '_Damn him. If he didn't want a fucked up son then he should have kept me away from those bastards in the Soul Society'._ I became resolute in the belief that Fate really hated me. I mean, it left me here alone, angry, _broken. _Yeah the part of me that made me human, _a person_ per say, it's all gone now. I left it at that house, I'm no longer a human being.

**_'So what are we then, King?'_**

* * *

**__**A.N.: So I'll end it there. I'll try to update every weekend, but I may get my computer taken away (I'm only a Freshman) so if I don't update I may have to get my friend to upload it for me. (^_^')

I also got a really good story on my favorites list called White Decide by 99rain99. It's AMAZING if you love this pairing! I also have a deviantart... My name is colorofdeath.

~See ya soon! ^^


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Shirosaki P.O.V.

**"Oh, how the mighty have fallen!"** I yelled to the titled clouds.

I had watched Ichigo become the empty shell of a former hero. His mind had weakened, emotions went haywire. It did not help he had no strength or will to move on, to live. I know his instincts will control him eventually.

**_' And when tha' time comes King, then I'll kick ya off my back.'_**

* * *

Ichigo P.O.V.

_'Why does school have to be so boring?' _ Yes, I had come to school. Why? I'm not sure. Ishida, Orihime, and Chad all distanced from me after I lost my powers. They started to distance from me completely when I could not control my rage anymore. Mizuiro and Keigo don't speak to me. The only one who gives a damn is Tatsuki, even so it's only in passing. Though it's for the best, I don't want them hurt.

I had slept on the street, it's not like I had anywhere else to go. I think I might go to the Shoten, Hat and Clogs might be able to help me.

**'****_Like the Blondie would help someone like you King.'_**

Why does that monster have to be here now.

**_'King, ya wound me. Though, we are the same person. Ever think tha' maybe we are monsters Ichigo?'_**

Damn him, damn my rage, damn it all. The heat in my chest is an inferno. The fire spreads in every direction. The last bell rings it's annoying tone. I have to get out, I can't stay longer. I jump out of my seat loudly and walk out with my head down.

* * *

My legs ache with the need to run, to free some of the pent up flames scalding my heart. I take off in a sprint, not caring where I go as long as it's somewhere. My sneakers slap against the pavement. The buildings that flank me are slowly getting smaller and farther apart. I stop when I get here. The very spot my mother was killed.

I come here to think. Even so, the rage in my chest can't be subsided by the serene flow of water and crisp grass. I sit there, looking at the sky for hours on end with nothing but a blank mind and flaming chest. That's when I here it, voices. The very voices of _idiots. _These idiots need to learn a lesson.

I can feel the automatic smirk at the thought of blood on my hands. "_This will be good.'_

They approach and it's all I can do not to pounce at them.

* * *

Third Person (with Ichigo's thoughts) P.O.V.

It is a group of 3. They formed a triangle as the two cronies flanked their leader. They approached with arrogance, and the foolish thought they were invincible. "Does someone think they can sit on _our_ territory?"

Ichigo turned his head. His face held no scowl, instead it held a bored expression. Even through mask you could see his eyes light up like Christmas. He felt good he was going to get to show these assholes just who was boss.

"It isn't your's, or anyone's." said Ichigo in monotone.

"Look, bitch, just who do you think you are?" the right crony asked with a gleam of violence in his eyes.

Ichigo stood stretching the muscles that had been stiff for far too long. He smoothly put his arms over his head. He continued for a moment before he put his arms down and smirked an almost insane smirk. His eyes gleamed with violence and wind and his blood's pounding had drowned out _all_ other noise So he missed it completely when spoke.

**_'King, you prove more and more everyday of what we are. Why not just give in?'_**

They stood in fear and shock at the look in his eyes, but it wasn't enough for this gang of idiots. They stood prepared think about the look on his face when they show bravado isn't enough. They charged ,still in their positions, with their rusty metal pipes in hand. Ichigo stood stock still , not in fear, and still had his evil smirk in place in his face.

They circled him and the leader swung first. The pipe was caught with fingers and thrown carelessly behind him. It hit the left crony in the head, and he passed out.

Ichigo landed a succession of punches and high kicks all aimed at this guy's face. He lost at least 7 teeth, and was bleeding from his nose, mouth, and his eyes. Ichigo pounced on top of the leader and continued to poke out his bleeding eyeballs.

The right crony however, recovered from the shock of his boss being beaten so easily quickly. He raised his rather sharp pipe high, and swung down on Ichigo's back. Th blood practically spewed from his back and continued to flow in a river down his back. He looked up at the right crony. Ichigo's eyes had turned an endless black while his irises an almost glowing gold. He gave avery inhuman growl before he smirked once more.

He approached the last conscious crony before said something.

"Do you really want to die?"

The crony was wary for a moment before he answered with a quick shake of the head.

"Well sorry kid your going to die today."

Ichigo ran at him so fast the crony couldn't see him. The crony felt two hands wrap around his neck before everything went black for the last time.

* * *

Well then aren't I so evil!~ :-)-... I really though I could have done a bit better on this chapter. I also apologize for the wait my constant reediting went on for a LONG time. So the fight scene will continue in the next chapter though I'm pretty sure you guys went through the goriest part. I solute your stomachs

Also I finished the Percy Jackson series. And all of us Yaoi fans know how it gets when see anything involving to hot guys, WE TURN IT INTO A SLASH PAIRING OF COURSE! And personally I have just fallen in love with Lercy (aka :Lukercy, Pluke, Puke, or just Luke x Percy). I even gave that ship a theme song, Lips of an Angel by Hinder. Because for their secret romance to work they'd have to sneak around buches (I'm turning into Aphrodite with the romance). I WILL start a series for Lercy because I love it so much.

But i need your opinion. Should I make Percy a) cross over to the dark side for his babe ;-) or b) suffer extreme heartache and confess to him when it's ALMOST to late. Either way is pretty angsty. And you know I'll throw Mpreg in there one way or another. Please leave your choice in the comments.

Bye my lovely fans!~

Jamaican Skull/Robin/Nightwing


	3. Author's Note :-(

Author's Note

Hello my lovely followers and viewers!~ I bring with me some good and bad news. I have learned through experience with the very limited stories I have written that it pains not only the author but the readers as well to update at irregular intervals. So I have decided that instead of leaving my audience hanging for months at a time to write a complete story before posting so I already have the chapters ready to post each week. I light of this I plan on finishing both of my stories before posting a new chapter or writing anymore. I hope you all understand that this way it'll be better for all of my followers and easier on myself.

With Love,

Jamaican Skull


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